RESIDENCY PERSONAL STATEMENT SAMPLE HELP
CODE BLUE! We take a residency personal statement from pulseless and cold to normal sinus rhythm ! Medfools Edits Personal Statments for your amusement!
The Fool Takes Essays from Flatline to Normal Sinus!
The Fool Takes Essays from Flatline to Normal Sinus! |
BEFORE (Unedited)- Thready Pulse![Next Page]
I can’t remember exactly when I decided I wanted to be a doctor or even when I first became interested in medicine. There was no single defining moment which propelled my decision to apply to medical school. It was a decision I arrived at logically after much deliberation. However, [Don’t beat around the bush, just jump right in with EM] I can clearly remember the experience that sparked my interest in emergency medicine.
It wasDuring the summer following my college graduation and I had just completed my medical school application. I wanted to be as far away from the world of MCATs and personal statements as I could get. So I opted to lead led a six week cross country bus trip for 50 high school students with 4 other college students. [Got to get to the story—and fast!]
Throughout the course of the summer I worked many long days and nights with little sleep. Between planning activities, teaching classes, and ensuring there was always food prepared; little time was left for anything else. As a staff we quickly learned to work well together playing to each others strengths and minimizing our weaknesses. The other staff members heard of my interest in medicine and therefore [Too much irrelevant background material. The writer need to get into the meat of the story, the message] I was appointed to be the counselor in charge of all of the campers’ medical issues. After a little while I began to feel more comfortable dealing with campers who complained about being sick. I quickly discovered that many of their symptoms were not due to pathophysiologyany pathology, (a subject I came to learn much about in medical school). Instead instead these students simply desired some extra attention from their friends or counselor. I realized just a few minutes of time and genuine concern can often make a significant difference to the patient. The challenging part became discerning those who needed to be seen by a doctor from the others.
Before seeing emergency physicians in action during the course of the summer I often thought that they would be too busy to for that extra little bit of time. With 50 active students who played too much, and slept too little, I made numerous trips to the emergency rooms across the country and was pleasantly surprise continuously impressed d however, with every emergency department visit I made. With 50 active high school students who naturally played too much and ate and slept too little, I made numerous trips to emergency departments across the country. I was continuously impressed by the doctors and other medical staff with whom I interacted. They handled many different situations simultaneously yet still managed to make me feel that my student was being well taken care of well. The physicians in the various emergency departments all displayed leadership ability in the way they managed their patients and also in the manner they directed the rest of the emergency staff. All of the staff members of the emergency department clearly worked together as a team in the delivery of health care. This spurred my original interest in emergency medicine. [Added something to transition to the next part below]
After this experience, emergency medicine became the specialty to which I compared all others. There were parts of every specialty I encountered During my third year. I encountered parts of every specialty which I enjoyed but there was not a single one I envisioned myself practicing exclusively. I wanted to have a career which encompasses many parts of medical practice. After my first few shifts in the emergency department I knew emergency medicine was the specialty I wanted to pursue. It was by far the most enjoyable and interesting rotation I had during my medical school education. [Here is a great opportunity to explain why EM is “it” for this candidate. What did the applicant find out about these other specialties and why they all led back to ER? Are there any concrete examples here for which parts the writer enjoyed most about the ohter specialties?]
I enjoy the opportunity to make diagnoses and perform procedures. I also want to be a physician who feels comfortable handling any situation that may roll though the door. Every patient presents a new problem and question; no two are the same. This diversity is part of what excites me about emergency medicine.
During my undergraduate years and throughout my medical school education I sought various opportunities to give back to my university and community for the education it has provided me. These endeavors helped shape my abilities to interact with patients and colleagues. Additionally, these experiences helped me hone my capabilities as a leader. Through these activities I realized both the added joy and sometimes challenge of accomplishing goals as a part of a team. [Can mention the team spirit of the ED here]
While treating patients in an emergency department is in its own rightis a necessary service in any community, I hope my connection to my community will go beyond the hospital. The structure of emergency medicine practice will allow me time for involvement outside of the emergency department itself. I see myself using this time to guide my group in private practice or to perhaps try to affect policy change at higher governmental levels. I would like to pursue some post residency training to prepare me for either practice management or heath policy involvement. I look forward to joining an emergency department team as a resident where I am able to advance my training in both emergency medicine and leadership.
[This PS is overall okay to start, most of the stronger material comes late in the essay.
The major issue, is that 30-45% of this residency personal statement is taken up by a description summer camp activity. While explaining the applicant’s initial exposure to the field, It should be made very clear that med school, and real clinical exposure in the field has solidified and driven a career in EM. Using the high school story as a springboard, the essay can then FOCUS the main part of the PS on ED and how it drives the applicant to succeed. What is most interesting/challenging about the field? What makes it unique, or worthwhile to the writer?]
[Next – Medfools commentary – Continue to page 3]
